If you want - you can sing with me too

Short paragraph: I could do that.
Short story: with some time and inspiration...I’m all over it
Poem (short or long) and I’m out of my element. It is interesting that my ultimate literary love and my initial allurer to writing now has me hesitating to pick up a pen.

Encouragement: Charles Bukowski wrote his short stories beginning at age 24 - he didn’t begin writing poetry until 35. Dim as it may be; this small fact offers hope!

I recently read his poem “The Snow of Italy”. It is frightening in an attractive and almost disquieting way:

“...there is moss on the walls and the stain of thought and failure and waiting...”

Just one good sentence, if I can produce just one good sentence then it is all downhill from there. I read that from a famous writer once (can’t remember his name), this was his remedy for writer’s block.

Anyway, here is my day (it is not a poem - it is more like a rambling, possibly disguised as a poem)

“I’m Afraid There’s A Hole in My Brain” plays in accelerating manor thru my lilac cell.
(Lilac is not my color of choice...but it is more so than the other option, black).
For some reason I think my life resembles the lyrics of the song...and each time I hear it, I am more convinced.

I rollover and hit ignore
but now I can’t ignore the welcoming of Tuesday.
My alert mind is more effective than any alarm clock.
The day proceeds with Cheerios, soy milk, and long put off errands.
It is warm outside.
It is not snowing.
...and those 2 facts produce a decision to get a ICED latte.
God is close, like He always is.
Today I make myself aware of His presence - and it is more difficult than usual.
Ordinary days usually are.
(Not like when I am praying with 12 other girls on a musky concrete floor before bed that we be protected from Malaria and the Burmese who reside 15 minutes from our hostil. We don’t pray for protection from the large spider anymore because we killed it the night before. And it was large, if it was up to me I would consider it a mammal - and that is that.)
Anyway, you don’t have to remind yourself He is close in times like those - His presence is the only thing that doesn’t seem surreal. It is the ONLY comfort.

I listen to Carla Bruni because I’m not into English right now.
I read Charles Bukowski (please rub off on me).
I drink Red Bull for the first time - there’s no good explanation for that.
I try to pop my zit (yuck)
I pray (serenity)
I call my friend (and laugh)
I drink Fiji Natural Water (i don’t care what stream this came from I’m never paying that much for water again!)
Today I only ALMOST cried
Today I realized how easy it is for me to avoid what I respect so much (honesty)
Today - I’m kind of over it



Ok, so I am an expert at rambling - why hasn’t that come onto the scene yet? If Sandra Lee can open up a can of soup and call it a cooking show then I am sure I can publish all these random, circular, thought processes and make a few bucks-ha!


Anyway, there is a poem knocking itself around in my mind. I keep trying to perfect it (i.e. I have all the words but I don’t know where to place them - and that is the difference between a dictionary and an Emily Dickinson)!

This isn't just any kind of ink ~!~

Here.
Here is my pen.
I want you in my life - I want you to write yourself into my life.
I want you to know me, like “quote my heart” know me.
I want it to be an epic story - in a captivating quiet kind of way.
In a, “Wow, I didn’t know the accordion and the guitar sounded so well together” kind of way.
I want to read the story out loud so my mind can process the words and my heart can make sense of the well composed sentences. I want to be left resonating with nostalgia meets charm; Somewhere Over the Rainbow meets Stay Little Valentine; Damien Rice meets Comtine D’un Autre Ete: L’apres Midi (Yann Tiersen)


Please write it with Him. He is the best author I know. Becasue He knows me better than anyone else.

He writes the best stories.

Like when He wrote me into life and i was left in the hospital for months threatened by death - but I’m not dead. He started my life out with quite the bang!
Or when He wrote Maryn into my life with a spontaneous trip to Texas and then reconnected us months later and now I have such a dear friend who has sharpened me and encouraged me in ways I had no idea I needed. But He knew - so He wrote her in!
Or the time He wrote my wonderful Jamie in (at the perfect time) on yet another unplanned trip to Florida. She looked at me on the long drive and said, “Brianne, boys don’t think like you do.” And I knew she was going to be like a rock for me-ha!
I love that time when I got in the car with my dad to make the long trip to WV. I silently allowed tears to stream down my face from yet another unwelcome broken heart. Without words my dad held my hand and let me cry. That story is never far from me - I am so glad He wrote that one in!
I could go on forever - there was that time my mom and sister and I blasted The Righteous Brothers and had a dance party late into the night (and it was a school night-ha)!
There was that time in Peru when Agusto asked me to adopt him. The time in Thailand when Furn would put her head on my shoulder and tell me her mom was dying from cancer...

So here is my pen - you can write yourself in. Then...I’ll let you read me like a book.